Monday, August 13, 2012

Nashville Lifted My Hex (and Facing Fears of Wax and Paper)

So I've been MIA for a few days, and my mom told me she misses my posts, so I can only assume that everyone else does too. I apologize, amazing followers, but I took a few days off work, and by work, I mean anything that even remotely required any effort. But, there are a couple of notable things that happened while I was away.

Seriously, what's your definition of irrational?
Because I was under a hex last week, I had to face one of my biggest fears two times too many (because the ideal number would be never f***ing ever). I have a HUGE, irrational (by other's terms, not my own) fear of wax figures. And when I say wax figures, I'm actually being a little too specific. My fear is broader. Wax figures, you see, would be the pinnacle, most absolutely terrifying portion of my fear. Nothing would be worst, to me, than being trapped in a wax museum. But also, I'm deathly afraid of things that resemble (ranging from semi to extremely) life-life people, animals, or even fictional characters really. (We had a comic book store in Owensboro with a huge paper mache Hulk. What's more embarrassing than simply going to a comic book store? Ducking, covering your eyes, and running into sh*t, because you're trying to get away from the huge man made of...paper.)

I can't explain this fear or determine its roots. And no amount of aversion therapy helps. Once, while visiting Jamie and Jay in Tulsa around Christmas, Jay decided I needed to make peace with my fear and touch a huge stuffed polar bear dressed in Christmas attire playing a drum. (Stupid bear.) He pushed me closer and closer to it while my heels made sparks on the ground. He forced my hand up to touch it and...its damn head fell off! I ran shrieking away while three year olds wondered what the hell was wrong with that grown up and Jamie and Jay crumbled into fits of laughter.

Because the Bachelor Pad contestants need to be creepier.
So, anyway, this week, to kill a few a little time and a few brain cells, I watched the Bachelor Pad. One of the dates they went on consisted of a wax museum where they dressed the characters up to look like figures and then scared patrons. Exactly. I hate wax figures. So, because I didn't just want to fast forward, I watched that part of the episode through my fingers, while Joel cringed and rolled his eyes at the fact that I was crawling out of my skin because of wax figures ON TV.

Then, at a back-to-school exhibit Thursday night, the Student Council Helper led me to my table, only for me to realize, they'd set me across from THIS:

I cannot tell you how many times I found excuses to get up so I could get water, go to the bathroom, visit the counselor, stretch my legs...all just to get away from the horror that was staring me in the face. I literally had my head down the entire time. The sweet little girl working the booth came over and took a picture of this for me so I could show all of you. And was sweet enough to carry on a conversation with me at my table, so that I didn't have to look at her freak show while we chatted. I have never been happier to leave a back to school event in my life.

Then, we went to Nashville!! If you know me, you know this is one of my favorite things to do because a--I fancy myself a city girl and assume that I fit right in down there, and 2--we have awesome friends there that we love to visit and hang out with. They're some of the same friends who went on the House Boat Trip with us.

When everyone else went to the bars later,
we stayed home because of this. :)
It was our friend, Rachel's birthday, and her boyfriend Scott had put together an awesome surprise party. We surprised Rach with a group dinner at Urban Flatts (ahhhh-mazing, you should try it if you're ever in the area), and then took the group up to the guest suite Joel and I had reserved and Kristin, Crystal, and I decorated (Rachel totally walked in mid-decor process, and then everyone decided to go to the rooftop lounge about five seconds later, but at least the decs were enjoyed for a few moments). From there, we all just hung out and made each other laugh. I met some really awesome people, and at one point, my new friend Emily said the three words that no one should ever say to me: "You're so funny." The reason this is a bad idea is because, at that point, I take it as my sole duty to be a one-man comedy routine and blur the lines between funny and annoying and what the hell is she following us around talking about. And the next day, I never know if I was, in fact, being funny, or really just funny in my head and worry that my brand new friends may delete the phone number I insisted they store in their phone so I can make then laugh anytime and hope they never see me again.

But! Emily and Crystal and I all talked the next day and decided we need to hang out again, so I'm thinking not too much damage done. We also had the most amazing brunch I've ever had at the Tavern with the birthday girl and Scott. After ordering six brunch drinks to split between the four of us before 11am, we remembered it was two-for-one and realized we had to drink six more (free!) drinks before we left. That's about the time Joel and I decided we should probably stick around Nashville for a while.

Birthday girl brunching
We went on an impromptu sailboat trip later that day, and Scott and Rachel were gracious enough to lend Joel and I something to wear on the boat. Joel threw in his very own black socks to be donned with his borrowed camo crocs. That man is the portrait of modern style. I, however, did not come bikini-ready and was worried the entire time that these people would think I'd tried to smuggle a wookie onto the boat via my swimsuit. Joel assured me that no one noticed and duh, Casi, people don't walk around staring at your crotch. (I know he was only saying this to make me feel better, because people absolutely walk around staring at my crotch.) After our boating adventure, Joel and I weighed the options of sticking around Nashville for another night (because honestly, if he'd agree, we'd stay forever. I always find myself begging for another night in Nashville until he reminds me we have responsibilities in Owensboro--oh yeah) or biting the bullet and driving back home, so we didn't have to get up at 4am and drive. We decided to forego pizza and movies with the gang and settled for a drive-thru dinner and a quick trip home. For the record, Joel slept most of the way, and I cried over my audiobook.

Us brunching
This morning, it was dark and cold in the house and the rain sounded so relaxing that I stayed in bed way too long willing myself to soak up the last few moments of non-work before having to face it again. And now, I'll go visit some schools in the pouring rain, because nothing says professional like that wet rat look.

Aren't y'all glad I'm back? Me too.

No comments:

Post a Comment