Friday, June 22, 2012

It Doesn't Matter to Me...Or Does It??

Part of being a grown-up means making decisions. Big ones, little ones, all day long, every day, you make decisions. I have always considered myself a little indecisive. I'm always the girl who says, "it doesn't matter to me," or "makes no difference to me," when asked where I'd like to eat, what I'd like to do tonight, what movie we should rent. And that's the honest truth. Little things like that simply have no long term bearing on my life. So I'm okay with whatever someone else chooses. I can pretty much find pleasure in just about any mundane thing that is chosen for me. But I've always taken pride in being able to make decisions about the big stuff. I chose, all on my own, where I would go to college, what cars I've bought and how I was going to pay for them, and every house or apartment I've lived in. I've chosen what I want to do with my life and when it was appropriate to leave or stay at each one of my jobs. Lately, however, I seemed paralyzed when it comes to decision-making.

I know he looks like a dog but he's actually a rare breed of cuddle-monster. 
Is this a point you reach in life where you've just made too many big decisions so you're simply dried up in the decision-making part of your life? Am I out of decisions? Have I used them all up? Lately I've been faced with several opportunities to make choices. Some big, some small, some HUGE, some in-between. And I have been completely unable to make any of them. I literally go back and forth on every single one of them. I can't seem to come to a solution I'm happy with at any given moment about any given option. Honestly, my knee-jerk reaction is simply to make the decision to lay in bed and do nothing. I know that's not a very grown-up action to take, but currently, it's what makes me feel good. So if you need me, I'll be right here with this guy...^