Saturday, September 28, 2013

Misty, Purple Colored Memories

So last Saturday there was the Evansville Jazz and Wine Festival. This was the 6th annual, and of the 6, I have attended five.

Here's a photo history of my wine fest tenure:

So I gathered a sweet group and headed back for year five. This year, we decided not to wait until we got to the festival to start tasting wine and got a couple of bottles to drink on the trip. (Sorry, Mom.) However, we wouldn't let our fearless leader have any until we got there. And then he did this:  

And this: 

When we got to the fest, there may or may not have been two members of our group who were already feeling pretttttty good. So we proceeded to start terrorizing the people at this festival. I feel relatively confident I told more than one winemaker that his 'grape juice' was delicious and said more than once--way too loud-- that certain wines had 'gone bad.' I also feel confident that I can't recall all of the details of the evening, but I do know these facts.

--April left her cell phone in a restaurant bathroom. They were none to happy that we busted in there demanding to use a toilet, because apparently there are 'rules' against that sort of thing.

--In said bathroom, I randomly tied a pink ribbon to April's shoe and told her to keep it forever. And she did. 

--We purchased these sweet redneck wine glasses which I call 'roadies.' (See earlier comment about drinking in the car.)

--Destiny made friends with a bathroom attendant. 

--I accidentally said to a very attractive, yet married man 'on a scale of 1-10, how married are you?' And by accidentally, I mean absolutely on purpose. The wine made me do it.

--He said 7. 

--I spent a ridiculous amount of money buying a ridiculous amount of wine. I won't tell you exactly how much, but I will say I was actually scared to check my bank account the next morning.

--Destiny coined my newest nickname: wine ninja. Because apparently she didn't see me buy a single one of the 16 bottles of wine I purchased. 

--I kept a quote page, and these were only the ones I was sober enough to write down: 

I think he has his dentures in backward. 

Wine milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.  

I smell frosting. What are y'all doing back there?

April to Destiny: It drops 2 degrees and white girls gotta start wearing knee boots 
Casi: Umm I'm wearing knee boots. 

If JessicaBiel and Julia Roberts made a baby, it'd be a f***ing horse. 
...a Shetland pony.

Don't call me a b*tch.
But you called me an MF. (This quote has not been censored. He actually said M.F.) 

Casi to Destiny: How are you gonna try any wine with that full glass? 
Destiny: I'm gonna tell them just to pour it on top. 

If you don't watch sharknado, something is wrong with you. 

Chris: How did you just 'like' the Ellen Degeneras show on Facebook? It just popped up: Casi Clark likes the Ellen Degeneras show 

--Allegedly, I tried to steal a golf cart. I can neither confirm nor deny these allegations. Mostly because I don't remember that part.

--Destiny fell asleep mere minutes into the trip home. But when we got back to Chris and April's, she got her second wind. Which was good because: 

--We had a porch party! We literally had a wine-infused dance party on Chris and April's porch, and Kevin and his friends even came down to dance with us. These poor young soles now think 30 looks like purple teeth and dancing barefoot on a porch to early 90's rap songs. 

All-in-all, it was a historically funny night, and word on the street is that April is already gearing up for next year and searching for other wine festivals that we can attempt to get kicked out of.  I, for one, almost had a golf cart we could've driven around the next wine fest. But, laws.