|Look at pasty pale he is. (Okay, maybe the kid|
in the back skews it a little.)
Now, you have to understand Kevin and pools. When Kev was a little kid, we spent every summer soaking in the sun, and he would get super brown and look almost like he didn't belong in our family of blond-hair, green-eyes, pasty pale kids. But at some point in his life, some flip switched, and he hated being in the sun. One family vacation in Virginia Beach--we decided Chris wasn't so bad and took him on that one--while Mom, Dad, Chris, and I swam in the ocean on an insanely overcast day, Kev sat on the beach in trunks, a t-shirt, a hat, and a beach towel draped over every inch of visible skin. I'm not sure when or how this happened, but Kevin turned into a vampire at some point during his teenage years.
|So pale he's blue|
|Wait, where does the mask end and Kevin begin?|
|Trying to make friends with the sun|
I remember Mom and I going into his room as he's flailing around his bed whining and moaning about how much pain he was in. Mom and I, stifling our giggles, are trying to talk him through what he can do to feel better. But he thinks the only thing that can make him feel better is...if Mom lays hands on him and prays for him.
|Oooooh. That's why he hates the sun.|
When we got in there, Kevin was in full-flail. He was flipping around his bed like a fish out of water. He was whining and moaning like I've never seen from a full-grown man before. So, Mom lightly touched the blessed/delicious oil to Kevin's forehead and began to pray out loud for the Lord to heal Kevin of his horrid, debilitating sunburn. Suddenly, and without warning, Kev's entire body went limp and lifeless. Mom's eyes shot up to me in horror. Honestly, I think for a moment, she thought she'd killed him. Stunned, she whispered, "Kevin, are you okay?" And, somehow, without moving a muscle, he responded, "Shhhhh...I'm concentrating." And miraculously, he was healed.
So, there ya go folks, I bet you had no idea about the healing powers of canola oil. And the sheer whininess of Kevin. (This flashback has been brought to you by Wesson Oil.)