Grown-up Friends

So, I have mentioned this before, but lately Jo, Destiny, and I have talked a lot about grown-up friends. We admit that our new friendships with each other seem different and have decided that we have all become mature enough to have and be grown-up friends. And it's not that the friends I have had all along are not grown-up friends--and the same can be said for Destiny's and Jo's friends--but it's more of a discovery, and then a conscious effort to be the most grown-up friends we know how to be.

Let me give you some examples.

One of my bestest peeps. Goose ain't so bad neither.

About a month or so ago, I needed some cheering up, and Jo invited me to the lake for the weekend to relax and recharge. I agreed, but because of my indecisive nature, as the weekend approached, I began to wonder if I had the energy to make a long drive all by my lonesome and be the cool, hilarious Casi I know I can be, all while feeling a little down. Realizing this, I immediately panicked. I suddenly started getting nervous about what Jo would think of me bailing on her when she had been generous enough to invite me, I started beating myself up for not being a good enough friend to suck it up and go, and I started imagining what life would be like when my very good friend, Jo, no longer wanted to be my friend because I was a big, fat flake. But I bit the bullet and sent the text saying I was having second thoughts, and should maybe stay home and try to recharge in the comforts of my own bed. Within seconds, I had the nicest, most understanding response from Jo, telling me that her offer was meant only out of being a good friend, and if staying home were more relaxing to me, she not only understood, but would love to have me out to the lake when I felt up to making the drive. What. A. Great. Friend.

This girl is my Outreach Counselor fo' life

When I finally made it to the lake this past weekend, we made some drunken plans for the girls to come crash the Clark/Osborne house in Owensboro and rock out at the Country Club with me. Both Jo and Destiny's husbands wondered out loud to them if I would be upset if they didn't come to the 'boro and what should they tell me? Luckily, both girls know me well enough to know that I would never be upset that now was not an ideal time to make the trip and that they have an open invitation to come stay with us and see the greatness that is my city anytime. Jo and Destiny reassured their husbands that not only would I not be mad, but I would scoff at the idea that it was a big deal at all.

And there are many more stories I can tell you about how understanding and comforting grown-up friends are. But, instead, I decided to make a list of the AREs and ARE NOTs of grown-up friends. Here goes:

1--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who understand you and your craziness. No matter what.

2--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who hesitate to point out that you're being a little too crazy and need to explore some less-crazy options.

3--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who want you to do what's best for you. Even if they don't understand it at the time.

I would do most anything for this sassy gal, and
know she'd do the same for me

4--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who would get angry at you for declining an offer or invitiation. Even without good reason.

5--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who accept you for who you are.

6--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of people you have to impress with your home, car, SO, financial status, life decisions, or worldly possessions. They are the kind of friends who could care less.

7--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who listen to your problems and support you by saying 'I'm here.' Only giving advice when asked.

8--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who'll get upset when you don't take said advice or ever, ever say "I told you so."

Travel buddy, walking pal, coffee break sister, friend til the end

9--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who'll listen to you b*tch, complain, and cry about your SO or the people in your life who stress you out.

10--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who hold that against you when you're suddenly extremely happy with your SO or vacationing with the people you just complained about.

11--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who help you keep perspective and see all sides of a situation.

12--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who will expect you do exactly what they would do in that situation.

13--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who give equal amounts of effort to the friendship.

14--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who get upset when your life circumstance means you can't give your fair share to the friendship right now.

This bff has laughed with me, cried with me, and been there for
everything life has thrown my way

15--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who will help you plan out your life.

16--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who will make you feel guilty when you veer off track.

17--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who will help you save money, eat healthfully, or work harder when that is your goal.

18--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who will say no when you decide to then go on a shopping spree, eat that pizza and dessert, or call in to work because there's a Sex and the City marathon on.

19--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who will include you on their plans to do fun and exciting things.

20--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who get jealous or angry if you do fun and exciting things without them when their schedule or finances don't allow.

21--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who don't expect you to be the perfect friend all the time.

This friend will marry me and help me bury our husbands
in the back yard someday.

22--Grown-up friends ARE NOT perfect friends all the time.

23--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who will defend you when people ask those terrible questions like, "when are you getting married?" "when will you and your husband have children?" or "when will you start working on baby #2?"

24--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who keep track of your life timeline by asking those terrible questions of you.

25--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who celebrate your successes with you.

26--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who compete with you.

27--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who make you feel like someone is in your corner at all times.

We have a pact to try and keep each other sane. So far, we're doing...
well, alright. 

28--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends who ask too much of you.

29--Grown-up friends ARE the kind of friends who encourage you, do things just because they care, and who you know will be the perfect person to build you up or talk you off the ledge.

30--Grown-up friends ARE NOT the kind of friends that fade easily, walk away, or become a memory of your past.




I am so very, very lucky to have a whole collection of grown-up friends, and while I'm not perfect (see #22), I do strive to be a grown-up friend to each and every one of my friends. And if this is what it means to be a grown-up, I think maybe I'm starting to come around to the idea.