Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wednesdays are for Just Say No

Last week, we were on vacation. These are postings in "real-time" And by, "real-time," I mean one week ago today. 

So apparently it's Wednesday but I can't be bothered with knowing that because I'm on vacation, bitches!! But there are few things in life that don't require work, so of course I had to do a bit of that this morning. Here's the deal:

I cannot say enough good things about our amazing resort/suite. It is beautiful, comfortable, huge, luxurious, friendly, etc etc. 

We got it dirt cheap. I didn't really get why, but then we checked in and I noticed a) It's a handicap room. Guess what? That's actually more valuable to me, because I particularly enjoy sitting down while showering and allowing my belly button to look out the peep hole. B) We're across the way from some serious construction. Again, I get the last laugh, because we just turn the TV up louder or the air conditioning up higher so we drown out the sounds of hammering. C) They try to sell you a time share. Not even kidding, they are serious about this shit. They called five times in two days to schedule a complimentary breakfast/meeting with us and give us a welcome gift. I will tell you this: The welcome gift was a travel size shampoo, ten percent off a seafood place we were interested in, and a coupon book to the outlets that probably did legitimately save me quite a bit of money, because I spent my entire savings at the outlet mall.

So Joel tells me since he's doing the conference thing and our time outside of that is precious (damn sweet talker), I should go to the presentation by myself and see what's up. After I cussed at him, I decided this was actually a good idea, because I could claim that I don't make financial decisions without my life partner (we won't tell them about yesterday's shopping decisions made solo) and have an out from their sales pitch. So I get up at an unnecessary hour on vacation and go to the breakfast. I had convinced myself that bacon, eggs, and biscuits would be worth every second until I showed up and realized the breakfast was some damn stale muffins and bad coffee. Already pissed off, I met my sales agent. Honestly, I loved her. She gave me her cell number later in the meeting to call her if Joel and I decided to sign on, and I kind of want to use it to call her just to hang out. She was very low pressure and just gave me the bottom line and how to get the best deal for the money. She understood I couldn't make a decision without Joel and gave me her number to call if we decided to buy. I thought that was it, and I was happy. But then she passed me off to a processor who wasn't as friendly or laid back and acted super pissed off when I said no to a lesser package she was trying to sell me.
As a final kick, they give you a thank you gift for putting up with their shit your time. They let you choose between signing up for their point program and getting the equivalent to one night free hotel stay or $75 cash. They tell you how stupid you'd be to choose the cash, because the hotel stay is much more expensive, and then try to sell you a point package. I assured them that I was, in fact, stupid and wanted my cash. After they act all pissed off and condescending that you've made such a dumb choice, they make you go visit three other people who also try to convince you of your idiocy for taking the money instead of the point program. They all told me it was a bad decision, and I assured them that I make lots of bad decisions and am really quite good at it. I also told them really they were idiots for not realizing I had a firm grasp on my own stupidity and try to flaunt it whenever I can, especially when it comes to monetary matters. But, an hour and a half later, I had a cool $75 in my fist simply for listening to people tell me how dumb I was. Who's dumb now, assholes? I'll think of you while I'm killing even more brain cells with the wine I plan to buy with this moola. In your salesperson faces!

Also, today, I'm linking up with Rachel again for Wonderful Wednesdays! Head on over and check her out!!

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  1. This really cracked me up. I think you made a damn good decision taking the cash BTW! I've been to a couple of those timeshare things and they can get downright ugly.As if they don't know some of us are there JUST for the free room! And I never got offered cash - WTH!

    1. Sheraton Suites in Orlando!! When you need an extra $75, head out to visit them and Hahaha. Thanks so much for stopping by!!