Monday, September 17, 2012

Mondays are for Mini Meltdowns, Even on Vacation

Last week, we were on vacation. These are postings in "real-time" And by, "real-time," I mean one week ago today. 

This weekend was quite interesting because, as usual, I had booked myself so tight that I could barely stop to glance in the mirror to see how big my stress-induced Mt Vesuvius zit on my forehead had gotten. Saturday was tons of fun because I was able to take my sweet, pint sized man (that's Jaxon. Joel is 6'1, that hardly counts as pint-sized) to a cool festival  Owensboro had and throw a mini bday party for him since we'd be missing his party on Sunday.

The day was great, but at the end of it I had a mini meltdown because I always feel so exhausted and pressed for time and can never call people back or return emails or visit people the way I'd like to and despite getting to do fun things, I wasn't able to do the have-to things to prepare for our trip, which meant rushing around Sunday morning and forgetting important things like our unlimited trolley passes for Orlando.

On the car ride home Saturday night, I was confessing to Joel how tired and stressed I am and have been and will be from now until the minute I die an early death because that's what being so stressed all the time does to an otherwise healthy heart, and I just lost my shit. I started crying and talking about childhood traumas and random things like being forced to go to Florida and show off my milky whiteness since I didn't have time to spray tan and having only one toenail painted because that's all I had time for. So when I say mini meltdown, I mean I completely fell the fuck apart.

But for the rest of the night, he was awesomely sweet and attentive and basically waited on me hand and foot. So maybe I should have breakdowns more often. Or maybe if I do, he'll think I'm even more batshit crazy than he already does. Which, surprise Joel, I really am super batshit crazy and will never stop over-extending myself, being in a hurry 100% of the time, and having exhaustion-induced breakdowns (even if it is the day before we leave for a relaxing vacation).

Luckily, now that we're officially on vacation, I can drink alcohol at leisure (like with breakfast) and read and walk slowly and sometimes just sit and think without someone trying to talk to me or schedule me to do something. Sweet, sweet relief.

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