Wednesday, July 4, 2012

One More Thing...

And just because I'm procrastinating on all the things I have to do today that don't involve shopping (I got all that done before 10am), I have to put this story on here because I find my dearest SO to be hilarious. Even though he drives me kinda nuts sometimes.

So, Joel is outdoorsman, handyman, and all around hard worker. This results in every piece of his clothing being ripped and stained and somehow tainting everything in the laundry with the smell of gasoline. He has more clothes than any fashionable semi-hoarder woman, and I don't help because I'm always trying to buy him "something nice to wear" just in case.

Several months back, we were in Nashville, and it was super hot and he needed shorts (in general, but especially that day). So he dropped me off at the mall, and I rationalized buying him a $60 pair of shorts because I could use my $20 off coupon and purchase several things for myself making the extreme price completely justified.

The very next time he wore said $60 shorts, he unexpectedly had to go to the farm and work. I showed up to the farm later that night only to find these ridiculously expense shorts covered in dirt and various crap that will definitely not wash out. (I think he said some of it was battery grease or something like that that I didn't even know existed.) Minutes after making a huge deal about him getting his brand new shorts all stained up, I notice he has ripped the entire back of the shorts out! So even if I could dry clean the stains out, he can never wear them again because the shorts are suddenly ass-less. Although I b*tched about this for a while and still bring it up randomly, I did get over it.

Not even kidding.
On my trip to Evansville, though, I found an amazing pair of white Express pants for like $25. We have a wedding to go to in a couple of weeks, and I thought those white pants would be perfect for him to wear. When I was showing him all the fruits of my shopping labor, I held the pants up and said slowly and firmly, "These. Are. White. Pants. Do. Not. Under. Any. Circumstances. Wear. Them. To. The. FARM."

Him: Baby, c'mon. Why would I do something like that?

Me: I know I said I wouldn't bring it up again, but remember the pair of shorts I bought you that you RUINED at the farm???

Him: That's totally different. Those were already dirt-colored.

There you have it, folks. That's exactly how his mind works. And I couldn't even get mad about it, because I was laughing too hard. He is hilarious. And a mess.

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