Tuesdays are for Shopping

Last week, we were on vacation. These are postings in "real-time" And by, "real-time," I mean one week ago today. 

In VacationLand, it's Tuesday, so I'll catch you up on what we've been doing that I haven't already mentioned. 

Sunday was our one-year anniversary and after packing frantically, taking CD to the babysitter (aka His Grandpa (aka Joel's Dad) ), and driving to Nashville, we went out for a mini anniversary celebration at our new favorite spot, Bar Louie. We were exhausted, and in fact, ready to go to bed by 6pm, but decided to have a few drinks and enjoy each other's company before heading out for vacation. It was awesome, and we had a great time and took a super cute picture of ourselves on Joel's phone. But he refused to send it to me, because "you're gonna put it on your blog, aren't you." So you get no picture of that night. (Note to self: take that shit with our own phone.)

Monday, our flight was delayed so we decided to commence the celebration with beer and mimosas for breakfast. Everyone at Max and Erma's loved my idea of making mimosas with pineapple juice instead of orange juice, and I don't want to brag, but I'm somewhat famous in the Cincinnati area now. 

Because of our mimosa adventure, we got into a bit of a hurry and needed to use the moving walkway. I have never been on one of these, because it's stupid and simply I'm not coordinated enough to handle it. Joel made me suck it up and get on the damn walkway, and it jarred me so much that I may have pulled a muscle in my lower back. I also looked a bit like a drunk toddler on them and people stared. 

Then on the plane, I had to go to the bathroom so freaking bad that I started to hum aloud one long, constant note to keep myself from pissing my pants. There was a long, steady stream of people jumping up and going into the bathroom before I could get back there. I find it hardly fair that one frantic-looking lady got to use the facilities 16 times (I counted) during the flight, and I couldn't even go once. Then, when the plane was stopped and everyone was standing in the aisle waiting to get off, Joel encouraged me to "just go now." I got back there, took one look at the toilet, and couldn't pee for the rest of the day. I'm not even kidding. I don't know why my body hates me. 

When we got to the car rental place, we got to rent an ELECTRIC CAR!!! Seriously, for dirt cheap. $180 got us a Nissan Leaf for three whole days, and we did not have to pay a cent in gas. It was awesome. I predict we will own an electric car within the year. 

LOVED this car

We decided to have an early dinner on the resort, since we were both tired from being up since 4am and had buffalo calamari, Shock Top beer (MMMMM), and fajitas for dinner. Our server, Enrique gave us great tips of where to eat for the rest of the trip.

See what happens when I take photos on my phone?!?

Sometimes on trips, my colon decides to blockade itself so that I can't go to the bathroom the whole time I'm traveling. Sometimes, it panics and releases everything in it. This trip, it was the latter. Our bathroom at home is far from the bed, and we can't hear each other doing our business over the TV and fan. It is wonderful. This was not the case last night, as I was letting out a symphony of lovely sounds, trying to hold it in, making it even worse and louder, while Joel listened outside the door. Even though it's been a year and we've seen all sides of each other, I still can't let him see that side of me. So, when it's all done, I come out sheepishly and say "sowwy, honey." "Huh?" he replies, "I didn't hear anything." What. A. Gentleman.

Dinner at the resort

All dressed for dinner

Later, we were watching TV and came across an old episode of Full House. I confessed to him that growing up I was head over heels in love with Uncle Jessie. He says, "that fat guy on Dukes of Hazard?" Total generational moment.

Today, I got up and commenced with the shopping I have been longing for. Three hours, several bags, one cab ride home, and fist of money later, I have no idea how we're going to get all this shit home. 

Here's the breakdown. These were outlet malls, so I purchased: 

The LOOT

For Him: 4 button down shirts, 6 t-shirts, polos, or long-sleeve, 1 pr jeans, and 2 Columbia jackets (one winter/one rain). 
For Her: 9 shirts, 1 sweater, 1 cardigan, 3 dresses, 1 pr DKNY jeans, and 2 Columbia jackets (one winter/one rain). 

What it would have been if not on sale: $1,385.
What is was because I'm an amazing shopper: $640.

It was amazing and although I had to transfer money from savings twice and call BB&T and ask them to please turn my f*cking credit card back on (again), we now have fall wardrobes. 

Currently I'm writing at the pool outside our room. Here's a shot of it:

When you're on vacation, you have time to paint all ten!

Stay tuned for more vacation fun!